A switch to the original position and back again

I am well enough to go back to my position in front at mass. I had been contemplating it for some time but did not get a sign from God. At the beginning of November, I had a strong feeling that I could. It was not one that came from my own desire. I prayed that He would work through my conductor. In other words, if I was not allowed to, it wasn't God's will.

I was allowed to. I was overwhelmed when the Gospel gave a second affirmation through the story on Zachaeus. He was a short man who could not see Jesus from behind and had to climb a tree. I had the same problem when I stood at the back, due to my height. I had to rely on my listening skills then. I was always fearful that I was not blending in with the choir as a result.

There were benefits though. I was inspired to sing by 2 tenors Benny and Theodore. I had the opportunity to sing with different partners within the same section and otherwise. I learnt to blend in with them by adjusting my volume and listening more. The younger members humbled me. I learnt not to underestimate their abilities and growth. The people with me were very accommodating to me due to my leg problem, especially Jacinta. Thank you, all of you!

Now that I'm back in the front, I find that I can project my voice more and I feel less physically stifled, as there's no one in front of me. Of course, I can see my conductor but have to learn to focus on his indications without compromising on my listening skill. Still, it is a breath of fresh air.

I continue to feel humbled. Without God's mercy, I could not have gone back to the front. I am now more open to singing with different partners from other sections due to having stood behind earlier. I definitely look forward to singing with my usual partner Cheryl once again. It's great doing so because we motivate each other to continue giving our best despite our moods. :) Oh, she doesn't know I'm back in front because she wasn't at mass that day. I hope she gets a surprise this Saturday. :)

Ok, I'm back to where I was. I understand the reason from a musical viewpoint. Cheryl and I blast into the microphone and this sticks out when the whole choir sings. So it's better for both of us to be apart and be placed with other people. At the same time, it is a source of humility for me and perhaps my time with her is up. God had intended for me to give her motivation and encouragement only for that period of time.