I must work on the pieces I am weak at, especially Gaude Maria. From technical knowledge, I need to progress to spiritual knowledge of the pieces; how they should be sung based on the meaning of the lyrics. I remember how Ave Maria should be sung based on previous small group sessions but once I am with the big group, I give in to peer pressure and don't carry out what I'd been taught. This is a problem of low self-confidence.
I feel that sometimes we tend to forget that our voices are gifts from God. The talent we have is not acquired through training or practice. Human egotism tends to block this truth out.
I sense some rivalry and self-esteem issues on an internal level. It is quite sad that this phenomenon is occurring again each time we have combined performances with other parishes. I witnessed it before and now it is happening right before my eyes again.
The song Heart of Worship resounds through my mind again, though I've used it in a previous entry in another blog. Still, it expresses how I feel about our perception towards our talent. I really don't know if we realise how we are letting Him down by this human pride.
When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
